Bush Names Dog as Greenspan Successor

Rest assured that the following is a joke.  I’m just making sure I, too, will never be invited to the White House for lunch.   

Bush Names Dog as Greenspan Successor

White House Dog Barney ‘loyal’ and ‘good with numbers’

President Bush picked White House First Dog, Barney, as a successor to Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan on Monday. 

Despite limited economic and business experience, Bush said Barney was a "a trusted adviser on whom I have long relied for straightforward advice" and who had an "abiding sense of loyalty."  Barney, 5, is a black Scottish Terrier who grew up in Washington, DC and has lived his entire life in the White House.

"Barney has an excellent pedigree to become Federal Reserve Chairman," Bush stated.  "He has worked with me in analyzing and approving every spending bill that has crossed my desk during this Administration.  I am certain he will be a politically independent leader of the Federal Reserve."

Both Republican and Democratic critics lambasted the President for nominating an ‘individual’ who they feel "will just do what Bush tells him to do.” 

The President has come under increasing criticism for approving Congressional spending bills that have increased the total US public debt from $5.7 trillion to $7.9 trillion during his two terms.   Critics include Greenspan, who last week opined that the US has “lost control” of federal spending, and the fiscally conservative Cato Institute, which recently published a report that stated Bush is one of the biggest presidential spenders, "even outpacing Lyndon B. Johnson in terms of discretionary spending." 

Other critics see this nomination as revenge for the loss George Bush, Sr. suffered in the 1992 Presidential election to Bill Clinton.  During 1990, Chairman Greenspan continued to raise rates despite an already slowing economy, sending the country into recession.  According to many political observers, the country’s slow economic recovery was the deciding factor in the 1992 presidential election. 

Dismissing criticism of his nomination, Bush said that Barney would not simply be a political figurehead that would rubber stamp Congress’s and the President’s fiscal policy. 

“When Barney goes before the Senate, I am confident that all Americans will see what I see every day: Barney is intelligent, loyal and very good with numbers.  Barney’s ability to analyze the rapidly changing global macroeconomic landscape and guide the nation’s monetary policy during a time of great imbalance and uncertainty will be recognized by all Americans.  On top of that, he’s already house trained.  I’m sure he’ll be confirmed.”

Senate Banking Committee Chairman Richard Shelby (R-AL) said in a press conference,  "Everything I know about Barney is good but I do not know a great deal about his professional activities or academic standing.  There needs to be, obviously, a very thorough inquiry into the dog’s pedigree."

Greenspan will end 18-year run as Fed chairman on Jan. 31, when his current term expires.  He could be the first chairman to be replaced by a dog.